Khutbahs

Man is on the Religion of his Friend
By Imam Ibrahim El-Farargy

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. May peace and blessings be upon the noble Prophet, his family and companions.

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allah as he should be feared and stand firm in your obedience to Him for He has promised those who return to Him and stand firm in their belief in Him the best reward; He says that which translates to:

“Indeed, those who have said, “Our Lord is Allah” and then remained on a right course – there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve”    (Al–Ahqaf: 13).

One of the greatest things that help Muslims to gain piety, righteousness and to remain upon the path of truth and guidance is keeping the company of good people and avoiding evil company. This is because man, by his nature, is influenced by his friends and companions and adopts their characteristics and mannerisms. Also, man’s character is known through his brothers and friends as pointed out by the Prophet sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam when he said,

 الرجل على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل

 “Man is on the religion of his friend, so let every one of you examine whom he befriends.”

(ما من شيء أدل على شيء؛ من الصاحب على الصاحب)

“Nothing reveals anything more about a man than the company which he keeps.”

Some wise men say.

  (يظن بالمرء ما يظن بقرينه)

“People think of a man what they think of his companions.”

Islam attaches immense importance on the matter of companionship and friendship so much so that the Prophet (SAW) directed every individual of the Muslim community to select only righteous and pious people to be their friends and companions. He said

  (لا تصاحب إلا مؤمنًا، ولا يأكل طعامك إلا تقي)

  رواه أبو داود والترمذي بإسناد حسن

“Do not befriend except the believer and nobody should eat your food (with you) except the pious.” (Abu Daawood and others)

The Messenger of Allah sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam also laid a perceptible example for a good and an evil companion when he said,

  ((إنما مثل الجليس الصالح والجليس السوء كحامل المسك ونافخ الكير، فحامل المسك إما أن يحذيك، وإما أن تبتاع   منه، وإما أن تجد منه ريحًا طيبة، ونافخ الكير إما أن يحرق ثيابك، وإما أن تجد منه ريحًا خبيثة))

The example of the good and the evil companion is like that of a bearer of musk and a person blowing a pair of bellows. As for the musk bearer, he either gives you some (musk), or you buy from him or at least you get a pleasant smell from him. As for the bellows blower he either burns your clothes or (at least) you get an unpleasant smell from him.” (Al–Bukhaari & Muslim)

 الذين يأنس بهم الجليس، ويسعد بهم الصديق؛ لإخلاصهم في المودة، وإعانتهم على النائبة، وأمن جانبهم من كل غائلة، فمن وفق لصحبة من كانت هذه أخلاقه، وتلك شمائله وآدابه، فذلك عنوان سعادته فليعض عليه بالنواجذ، وليرع له حق الصحبة بالوفاء والصدق معه، وتوقيره وإجلاله، ومؤانسته حال سروره، ومواساته حال مصيبته، وإعانته عند ضائقته، والتغاضي عن هفواته، والتغافل عن زلاته، إذ السلامة من ذلك أمر متعذر في طبع البشر، وحسب المرء فضلاً أن تعد مثالبه ومعائبه.

It is then only wise and logical that man should keep the company of those who benefit him in matters of his religion and life, for the best companion is the one who is pious, righteous, possesses noble conduct and manners, has a clear conscience and is ambitious. These are the characteristics of those that one can feel comfortable with and be pleased to be in their company. This is because of their sincerity, assistance during difficulties and one’s safety from any evil actions from them. Whoever is fortunate enough to have such a companion has this as a sign for his happiness and success. He must therefore hold fast to him, fulfil his right of companionship and be truthful with him. He should also respect him, share with him his happy and sad moments, assist him in hardship and overlook his mistakes, because no man is infallible and it is enough of an honour for a man that his faults are enumerable.

 وإن شر الأصحاب على صاحبه، وأسوأهم أثرًا على جليسه، من ضعفت ديانته وأخلاقه، وخبثت سريرته، ولم تحمد سيرته، من لا همّ له إلا في تحقيق مآربه وأهوائه، ونيل شهواته ورغباته، وإن كان على حساب دينه ومروءته، ولربما بلغ الحال في بعض هؤلاء ألا يقيم للدين وزنًا، ولا للمروءة اعتبارًا، ولا يرى للصداقة حقًا، فمؤاخاة هذا وأمثاله ضرب من الأنا، وسبيل من سبل الشقا؛ لما قد يجلبه على صاحبه وجليسه من شر وبلاء بصده عن ذكر الله وطاعته، وتثبيطه عن مكارم الأخلاق ومقتضيات المروءة، وتعويده على بذاءة اللسان والفحش في الكلام، وحمله على ارتكاب أنواع من الفسق والفجور والأخذ به في سبيل اللهو واللعب، وضياع الأوقات فيما يضر ولا ينفع من أنواع الملهيات والمغريات، وتبذير الأموال في صنوف من المحرمات.

Brothers in faith! The worst of all companions is the one who exerts a bad influence on his friend, is weak religiously, evil in conduct, has no clear conscience and nothing good is said of his behaviour. He is concerned only with achieving his base desires even if that is at the expense of his religion and manliness. He may even have a total disregard for religion and chivalry and dishonour the rights of friendship. Befriending such a person is a miserable act and a sure path to desolation because of the damage that such a person can cause, such as diversion from the remembrance of Allah and His obedience and prevention from having noble conduct and means of manliness. This is in addition to acclimatisation to obscene talk, instigation to the committing of immoral acts, wasting of time in fruitless pursuits, wasteful expenditure and a host of other forbidden things.

 وليتأمل يا عباد الله في حال من ابتلوا بإدمان المسكرات، وتعاطي المخدرات، واقتراف الفواحش والمنكرات، واكتساب الأموال المحرمة من ربا ورشوة وغيرها من المكاسب الخبيثة، وما هم عليه من سوء الحال في أنفسهم وأهليهم، وما كان لهم من أسوأ الأثر على من يخالطهم ويصافيهم.

Let us ponder, dear brothers in Islam, over the condition of those who are afflicted with drug addiction, perpetration of immoral acts and earning from unlawful means - like interest, bribery extortion and the like.

فمن شقاء المرء أن يجالس أمثال هؤلاء الذين ليس في صحبته سوى الحسرة والندامة؛ لأنهم ربما أفسدوا عليه دينه وأخلاقه، حتى يخسر دنياه وآخرته، وذلك هو الخسران المبين، والغبن الفاحش يوم الدين، كما قال سبحانه: وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يٰلَيْتَنِى ٱتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ ٱلرَّسُولِ سَبِيلاً يٰوَيْلَتَا لَيْتَنِى لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلاَناً خَلِيلاً لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِى عَنِ ٱلذّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءنِى وَكَانَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ لِلإِنْسَـٰنِ خَذُولاً الفرقان.

Look at the miserable situation that they and their families are in and the evil impact they have on those with whom they mix and befriend. It is in fact a sign of utter wretchedness that one sits with this type of people who offer nothing except sorrow and regret - for they may destroy their religion and conduct and make them lose both this world and the next and that is the most evident loss.

Allah says that which translates to:

“And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, “Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter.” (Al–Furqaan: 27–29).

These are some characteristics of the pious and wise whom one should befriend and of the evil and immoral people whom we should avoid.

 فتلكم يا عباد الله بعض صفات من تحسن صحبتهم من أهل البر والتقى، والألباب والنهى، وبعض صفاتٍ من يجب الحذر من مجالستهم من قرناء السوء وذوي الفسق والفجور.

والناس بين ذلك على مراتب ..

فمنهم من إلى الخير والفضل أرجى، وآخرون إلى الشر والسوء أدنى، والحازم يزن الناس بميزان الشرع والعقل، فمن غلب خيره على شره، ونفعه على ضره، اتخذه خليلاً، واصطفاه جليسًا، والعكس بالعكس.

All people were created good. Thereafter, they have fallen in to two different categories. The first group have chosen the path of goodness until it became part of their character, the second have chosen evil until that became part of their character. The judicious and discrete person therefore judges people with the criteria of Islam. Whenever he meets someone and judges that his goodness and benefit outweigh his evil and harm, he takes him as a companion - and vice versa. Whoever aspires for friendship and companionship of righteous and pious people will be made fortunate to achieve that in accordance with his intention and efforts.

فاتقوا الله  عباد الله .. واسلكوا سبيل الراشدين، وانهجوا نهج المهتدين في مؤاخاة الصالحين، ومجالسة المتقين، والحذر من مجالسة الفاسقين والظالمين، فقد قال سبحانه: ٱلاْخِلاء يَوْمَئِذٍ بَعْضُهُمْ لِبَعْضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلاَّ ٱلْمُتَّقِينَ [الزخرف.

Brothers in faith! Let us be reminded that all friendships will end in hatred and enmity sooner or later, except those between pious people for they are everlasting in this world and the next. Therefore fear Allah and be dutiful to Him, follow the way of the rightly guided people and the pious by making friends with only good people and avoiding the sinful and wrongdoers. Allah says that which translates to:

“Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.” (Az–Zukhruf: 67).

 ولتتأملوا -رحمكم الله- حال ك��ير من الناس اليوم -ولا سيما الناشئة- وما هم عليهم من انحراف في العقائد والأخلاق، وفساد في السلوك والآداب، لتروا أن مرد ذلك ومنشأه في الغالب صحبة الأشرار وقرناء السوء، من دعاة الباطل والأهواء الذي أجلبوا بخيلهم ورجلهم عبر وسائل متنوعة، وقنوات مختلفة، يبثون الشرور، وينشرون السموم؛ حتى انحرف كثير من ناشئة المسلمين عن جادة الحق والرشاد، وطريق الفضيلة والصلاح، وسلكوا مسالك الضلالة، ونهجوا دروب الغواية، رغم تحذير الحق عز وجل من طاعة أهل الباطل وذوي الأهواء، حيث قال جلّ وعلا: وَلاَ تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَٱتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا الكهف.

 وإن هذا النذير شؤم وبلاء على أمة الإسلام، إن لم يُتدارك من المصلحين الغيورين على الإسلام وأهله، من العلماء والدعاة وأرباب الفكر وحملة الأقلام، ورجال التربية والإعلام في بلاد الإسلام، ببذل الجهود وحشد الطاقات، واستغلال الوسائل النافعة المعينة على صلاح الناشئة وتهذيب أخلاقهم، وتقويم سلوكهم، والحيلولة دون تأثير دعاة السوء وأهل الأهواء..

وإن المسئولية لتقع في الدرجة الأولى على عاتق الآباء والأمهات في العناية بفلذات الأكباد، وتنشئتهم على آداب الدين وتعاليم الإسلام، وحفظهم من قرناء السوء ومخالطة الأشرار ووسائل الشر والفساد سعيًا في إصلاحهم، وتحقيق ما يسعدهم في الآجل والعاجل، وقيامًا بما أوجب الله تعالى لهم من رعاية وعناية..

فتلكم مسئولية الأداء، ولترعوها حق الرعاية، امتثالاً لتوجيه الله عز وجل إذ يقول: يٰأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءامَنُواْ قُواْ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَاراً وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَـئِكَةٌ غِلاَظٌ شِدَادٌ لاَّ يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ التحريم.

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allah as He should be feared and die not except as Muslims. Reflect – May Allah have mercy on you – over the sorry condition of many people today, especially the youth and their corruption in matters of belief and conduct. Reflect on how that was caused by keeping bad company, with those who call to falsehood and the following of evil desires through different methods. They spread evil and poisonous material and make sure that our youth leave the path of truth, virtue and orderliness to follow the way of error and allurement – despite Allah’s warning when He says that which translates to:

“And do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever (in) neglect.” (Al–Kahf: 28).

This phenomenon is a harbinger of doom and calamity for this Ummah if the reformers among the Muslims and concerned men like scholars, thinkers, educators and journalists do not exert all their efforts and make use of all available means to reform the youth morally. They must also protect them against those who call to evil and those who are slaves to their lustful whims and desires.

Fathers and mothers are therefore obliged, before anybody else, to take good care of their children, nurture them on Islamic teachings and manners and protect them from bad company and all other avenues to evil, in order that they may become good children and prosper in this world and the next. Parents, by doing so, will only be doing that which Allah has made obligatory on them.

Dear fathers and mothers! These are the great responsibilities laid upon you by Allah, so discharge them diligently. Allah addresses you with that which translates to:

“O you who have believed! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are (appointed) angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what he commands them but do what they are commanded.” (At–Tahreem: 6).

 ألا وصلوا عباد الله على نبي الرحمة والهدى، كما أمركم بذلك المولى جل وعلا بقوله:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ وَمَلَـٰئِكَـتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى ٱلنَّبِىّ يٰأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءامَنُواْ صَلُّواْ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلّمُواْ تَسْلِيماً الأحزاب